She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
