the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
