I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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