I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
