I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
