It's like a parade of train wrecks.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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