Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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