Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
So vagazzling was a success
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
