so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
