Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Randomize
