One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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