Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
