6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
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