I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
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