I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
