is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
