I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Randomize
