We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Randomize
