I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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