Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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