You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
