I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Randomize
