The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
