Got a toothbrush?
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
