Pappa wants mamma naked
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
he shaved USA in his pubs
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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