I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
