Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
