There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize