NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
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