Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
