just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
