Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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