all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
