Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
how drunk are you?
Several
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
