Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
