oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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