we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
