playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Randomize
