Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I am available for nakedness
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize