so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize