Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Randomize
