Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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