If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
