Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
