i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize
