i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
