I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
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