I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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