It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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