My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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