My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
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