Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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