i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
