he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
