oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
