When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
