Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
