Hey man sorry I got all grabby
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
