They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
