i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
