the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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