Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
