If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
