I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
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