Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
