I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
That accounts for only three of the penises
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Randomize
