I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
