i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
